The Lord of the Sith
by Misty040
Summary: The true Phantom Menace was never discovered - and Jar Jar Binks was not as foolish or as innocent as he'd have you believe... (Complete)
1. The Disguise

**A/N: Hello there! Not really sure where I'm going with this... I just really, _really_ believe this fan theory and wish some variant of it had actually made it into canon (credit to Lumpawarroo on Reddit for the original Darth Jar Jar theory) Anyway, thanks a lot for reading! **

* * *

Jar Jar Binks had had a very busy day.

He'd awoken in his new quarters - his _Senator's_ quarters - in a plush Coruscant apartment building and brightly proclaimed 'Heyo dalee!' to all the speeders racing by the windows. In the hall, he'd stumbled over a cleaning droid, sending one of its bolts skidding across the floor - and then done the exact same for its replacement, making all staff, droid and otherwise, ache for Senator Amidala's return. At breakfast, he'd sloshed the contents of his bowl across the table ('Oie boie! Ex queezee me!') and recounted his life story, in animated detail, to his company of increasingly irritated fellow diners.

And then he'd granted emergency powers to Chancellor Palpatine and listened as the entire Galactic Senate chanted his name.

It was this last memory that Jar Jar contemplated as he lolloped his way up to the Chancellor's office. It had been a good moment, he thought; the sound of applause carried him all the way to Palpatine's floor. In front of the office doors stood a guard, to whom Jar Jar offered an enthusiastic wave.

'Hidoe dalee!'

The guard smiled vaguely at this visitor, though an astute observer might have noticed that he looked rather as if he were stifling an agonised sigh. 'Er - good afternoon, Senator Binks.'

'Heyday ho!' Jar Jar beamed. 'Mesa request to see da Chancellor?'

The guard frowned, clearly trying to choose his words carefully. 'Chancellor Palpatine is very busy, Senator Binks - especially given these recent developments. May it wait?'

Jar Jar threw his arms up in insistence. 'Oh no, mesa must talk with him now!' He exclaimed. 'Isa berry berry important, yousa see, wesa must be speakin-' Jar Jar was ready to proclaim the urgency of his matter further when the office doors slid open to reveal Palpatine himself. The Gungan fell silent and gave a nod of respect so deep that his lanky ears drooped right over his face.

'Ah, Chancellor Palpatine,' said the guard, looking on Palpatine with clear relief as he gave his own customary nod. 'Senator Binks here asks to speak with you, but I wasn't sure-?'

'Ah, yes. Fear not, Wexler,' Palpatine nodded to the guard. 'We do indeed have an critical matter to discuss. Senator Binks, if you please?'

Jar Jar batted his ears out the way, wildly nodded his thanks and lumbered into the pristine office. Palpatine swept past the bemused-looking Wexler, then stopped as if in sudden remembrance.

'Oh, Wexler - would it be possible for you to check the security downstairs? I think we may have a vacancy this afternoon that needs to be documented. We'll be quite alright up here for the time being.'

'Of course, Chancellor.' Nodded the guard, and with one final glance at the office, Wexler walked away - leaving the corridor, as Palpatine assured, completely deserted.

Satisfied, the Chancellor entered his office, the doors sliding shut behind him. In long strides, he walked over to the window where Jar Jar stood, overlooking the sprawling mass of Coruscant. The lilac sky was obscured by speeders, and sunlight winked off a million glass panes. The city had a unique, ordered beauty, and the view was like little else in the galaxy.

Abruptly, blinds slid over the windows, cutting off the office from prying eyes and jolting the room into sudden dimness.

The Gungan turned.

'You have done well, my apprentice.' Said Darth Plagueis the Wise.


	2. The Reveal

Darth Sidious bowed his head. 'Thank you, Master.' He murmured. 'But this victory was all your doing. I noticed how cleverly you masked your mind trick when you were addressing the Senate - one would only think it were conversational gesticulation.'

His master nodded as he examined his long, scaled fingers. Plagueis took no pride in this Gungan body. The lumbering gait and lolling tongue of Jar Jar Binks irritated him intensely. His original Muun form had been far more dignified, far more befitting of a Sith Lord of his calibre. Still, the unimpressive body was a price which had to be paid - the vapid, idiotic guise absolutely vital to allow him to slip under the radar. 'Indeed. They were always a speciality of mine.'

'And that is also how you convinced Senator Amidala to let you take her place?'

Plagueis' wide mouth tightened into smile as he met Sidious' eyes. 'A subtle mind trick, my apprentice. Senator Amidala was a little harder to manipulate than poor, feeble Boss Nass in my general days - but still no match for me.'

Their plan was running smoothly - so smoothly, in fact, that Plagueis came close to lamenting the lack of challenge. The Jedi Council - the supposed epitome of wisdom - had become so complacent, so laughably clueless, that he almost pitied them. Plagueis had ventured into completely uncharted territory, stretched the Force to new limits. Whilst the Jedi had sat in their Temple endlessly recounting their ancient texts, he and he alone had conquered death.

In Sidious, however, Plagueis saw real potential. He was quick-witted and manipulative, able to charm, and utterly at home here in - both literally and figuratively - the highest office the galaxy offered. The Sith Lord had taught his apprentice all he knew: that he was able to use the Force to create life - and that he was miraculously close to achieving his own immortality.

So when the time came to put his theories to the test - the time to let his body fall into disuse - there was no one else that Plagueis considered. No, they would re-enact the age-old Sith tradition: apprentice slaughters master. And when the experiment had proven successful, their discussion moved to a new host. It had been Sidious' idea to look to Naboo, the Chancellor's home planet.

'Master, perhaps you may consider Otoh Gunga?' The apprentice had suggested. 'A Gungan form would look fittingly ridiculous.'

His master, of course, knew of the underwater city and he found himself in agreement - few would suspect a Gungan, known for their odd lexical patterns and certainly not for their Force abilities. In fact, there had been fewer than half a dozen force-sensitive Gungans in recorded history.

And for Plagueis, even in the vague, disembodied form that followed his 'death', it had not been at all difficult to find a naïve, foolish outcast. To lure him into conversation, learn his name - the fittingly ridiculous 'Jar Jar Binks' - and do what needed to be done. In a matter of minutes, Darth Plagueis had a new body - and more importantly, a disguise.

From the moment when he'd barrelled into Qui-Gon Jin ten years ago, Darth Plagueis had pulled every string. Sabotaging the ship to necessitate an emergency landing on Tattoine...carefully orchestrating their movements so they ran into Anakin Skywalker, the miracle of the Force that he himself had created...

And of course, handing over emergency military powers to his apprentice.

Every step of the way no one had felt anything stronger than irritation for poor, idiotic Jar Jar Binks - not opposition, and certainly not suspicion. For who would look at such a fool and expect to find Darth Plagueis the Wise?

In the Chancellor's office, the Sith lord smiled indulgently. 'Yes, everything is going exactly according to plan.'

'And the boy?' Asked Sidious.

Plagueis nodded. 'He is away with Senator Amidala at this very moment. His frustration with the Jedi council mounts... I myself have seen him question Master Kenobi in public.' The Padawan's insolent ' _why?',_ demanded of Kenobi not long ago, sprung to Plagueis' mind. 'I think, before long, he shall fall.'

'Indeed, master.' Sidious bowed deeply. 'You have the galaxy in the palm of your hand.'

Plagueis gave the stretched smile once more. 'Farewell for now, my apprentice.'

With that, he swept out the office, but he had got no further than the hallway when he was met again by the Chancellor's guard, Wexler, retaking his post by the office doors.

'Oh - hello, Jar Jar,' said Wexler, noticing the departing Gungan. 'Was your meeting successful?'

Plagueis looked upon the clueless guard and gave a great, wide grin.

'Heyo!' He beamed. 'Issa goin' good!' The yellow eyes narrowed slightly. 'Berry, berry good.'


End file.
